"She hides the fact that she can love... hides the pain that that freedom left behind... hides it with the mask of courtesan..."
Enter observers
Fill out the ranks
Ques as far as the eye can see
Dim red lights -
Sensual? I think not.
All impatiently waiting for the same thing.
These foolish men
The game I play
All vying for this heart of mine.
Thinking they´ll succeed?
I think not.
But they´ll all have their turns in time.
There she lay,
The tight corsetté
Bossoms with sexual tension heaving
She loves the game?
Heavens, why not.
Yet behind the flirt lie dead eyes, pleading.
The game´s her life
She´ll not deny.
Yet under all, her heart is breaking
This broad´s a fake?
Surely, why not.
A heart that´s stolen, once was for the taking.
I´d drop them all
These foolish men.
So out of character they might say.
Stolen heart´s returned?
I think not.
But I´d leave them for him any day.
Yes, theres only one
She´s ever loved.
But that one is so far away.
Red lights sensual?
Hell, why not.
If it fills the void, and fuels the Play...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The Courtesan´s Game
Posted by Zephyr at 3:27 AM
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3 comments:
If I could strip every cliche from this piece, you'd be left with very little verse. Think original, darlin... the only thing that this one's got going for it is the refrain on every 5th line of the stanza. And even then its not that powerful--which is what a good refrain should be.
Go on... don't approve the comment if you don't want to. It's more for critique's sake that I'm bothering to type this up at all. Better one honest critique for a writer than a horde of fawning fans.
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