The Six Toenails - Parody to the Six Cookies

I once had six toenails on my feet - yea, mock me not, for I had six toes. These toenails have dear hidden tales to tell, i kidd you not. And they are very dear to me (yea, for they are my toenails).

The first toenail, yes, even the very FIRST toenail I ever possessed (grown with much care and love upon the very first toe I ever possessed... yes they grew one at a time) was a good toenail. It grew in the love and admonition of the Lord, with great fear and trembling lest it be chopped for ill behavior. I cannot say this toenail tasted very good for I never tasted it. Amen. But one day, this toenail betrayed and left me, and with great pain and anguish I watched it prise itself off my sole toe and walk away. (To my great astonishment. I´m still baffled as to how it walked without feet) I still love this toenail very dearly (for it was my very first toenail) though I do not know where it is.

Then there was my second toenail. Oh what joy and happiness it brought me, just to sit and look at it (though to crane my neck like such gave me such cramps that I couldnt partake of this particular activity all that often) But soon it became hard and calloused and decided to fall off. I still dearly love this toenail too, but it does not love me. For it is hard and calloused (it blames me, somehow) Tongues and weeping.

Then there was my third toenail. Oh what a gallant and noble toenail this was, chivalrous and deedful in many deeds. But it, one day, decided that it did not like being a toenail, and began to chip and flake, and ended up pretending it was a croissant instead.

Then the fourth. This toenail was exceptional for it was my largest. But this toenail was not content with its size. It wanted to be bigger. So it compelled itself to grow and grow, until it grew so large that it pulled off my toe (the reason I have but five toes on my left foot to this day) and bashed me over the head with it, leaving a big bruise.

That brings me to my fifth toenail. This toenail was wonderfully shaped. How rounded... how smooth!! I never touched this toenail but I knew it was wonderfully wonderful. But like all good things, this one wasnt mine forever. It retained its smooth roundness though, and all though it had to fall off and go elsewhere, I know it´s not gotten hard or calloused, and its not pretending to be a croissant. It´s still my toenail.

And lastly, my sixth toenail. This toenail is STILL with me to this day (The one and only that I have left) And as I sit and gaze at its wonderful toenail-ness (yea, for indeed it IS a toenail) I marvel at its wonderful commitment to my toe and, most of all, to myself. It DOES question, now and again, and wonder whether it is actually cut out to be a toenail, and whether it should go be a croissant, or even more so, a baguette, instead. But deep down inside its tiney little core, it knows where its true place lies. And that is, on my very own toe.